The Ultimate Martyr

Jesus was not really a martyr. His sacrifice was small. Here is the Ultimate Martyr.

Jesus Did Not Die

When you “die”, but then you actually go to heaven, that’s neither “dying” nor a sacrifice. You are just being teleported to a different place. Therefore Jesus isn’t really a martyr. Not just that. He is teleportet to heaven, which by definition is a better place than earth. So it isn’t really a sacrifice. The only thing that you can count in his favor are the torment that he endured while on earth.

The Ultimate Martyr

Infants go to heaven when they die or are killed. If they grow up, there is a chance that they could end up in hell. So the ultimate martyr would deliberately kill infants to guarantee that they end up in heaven (possibly baptizing them first, depending on the myth you subrscribe to). For killing the infants, the ultimate martyr would go to hell as an eternal punishment. So, this martyr sacrifices his possible place in heaven for a definite place in hell in order to guarantee a place in heaven for all the infants he kills. Therefore, he is the Ultimate Martyr.